This is a short version of the story of my mother, who has been suffering from anxiety for many years and decided to see a psychiatrist when she was 30-years old. She had lost her job after a business failure, as she did not have enough skills or experience. The treatment lasted two months. After that, it was time to look for another job.
At first, I thought that this was just a temporary problem until we got in touch with one of our friends to discuss life, marriage, kids and other things that are important to him. He said that he was happy because they were both getting along well and that everything was going fine despite their relationship. So I asked how his parents had managed to get together. He explained that his mom used to run an advertising agency but she left after 6 years. Since then, he had tried to find a new job, but nothing worked. It seemed like his career path was always blocked.
We spoke about her mental health, including the fact that she started drinking heavily at 15 years old. At first, I didn't agree with her decision to drink so much, but that did help her feel better at night. My sister came by to support her and it helped her take control of herself. Eventually she stopped drinking entirely, she still drinks occasionally but only on special occasions. We also discussed what is happening to me mentally and where I am heading. She suggested that I change my habits and start working out more because there is something else bothering her. Asking people to be kind to you and being confident in yourself are all good tips. And don't forget about your family! My dad is very supportive so he does his part too. They try really hard to help me out.
I wanted to talk more about my mother's depression, though. It sounds like she went through periods of intense sadness and anger. Her partner would sometimes leave her alone, which made her feel lonely. She often felt isolated and neglected. And that affected her psychologically. Sometimes she would go into fits of rage and yell at me and my siblings. There were times when she would fight with us and my brother. In general, we would say goodbye to her whenever we could. But this can be painful. After six weeks of having no contact with my father or any of the partners she dated before him, my brother had started reaching out. My mother found this funny, but I think it was a sign that he has changed and that he wants to reconnect with her.
My brother says that he always tries to stay close to his mom, even if she doesn't want to hear him. A bit weird, I know. But I feel like my mom never wanted to let anyone in, even my brother. What is wrong with her? I haven't seen any signs of a diagnosis yet.
My mom decided to see a therapist, which was my recommendation. It wasn't easy, however, seeing a psychiatrist at 60-years old wasn't. To make matters worse, she had a chronic disorder without much knowledge of it. That caused difficulties with communication with doctors because she didn't understand how to communicate effectively. Also, she didn't trust anyone. Even if she told them everything, they didn't believe her. However, the doctor explained that he believes in her and wants to give her the best care she deserves. Despite the challenges, she did manage to get better.
She says that therapy helped her feel better at night and her relationships were better. For example, she was invited to a party, where she met a man she liked and she could finally date him without feeling judged. She felt happy and fulfilled.
Now, at age 70, my mom is doing ok. Still struggling, of course. Still having some problems with anxiety, especially now that my husband is married. Our children also need her attention, even though they know that their mom will be around too. Nevertheless, she is happy and I hope that she stays healthy in the future.
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